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Entry tags:
Fic: And She Was (Brothers & Sisters, Ensemble)
Title: And She Was
Fandom: Brothers & Sisters
Character(s): Rebecca, Ensemble
Word Count: 5275
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Justin discovers a time capsule video Rebecca made in high school.
Notes: Set during early season two. Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
femgenficathon.
They're sitting in the study, eating lunch and talking about Nora's latest project to dig up the back yard, when Justin drops the bombshell.
"Speaking of digging things up," he says, and there's something in his expression that immediately sets her nerves on edge. "I heard Marshall's putting in a new building."
"You did?" Rebecca can't help it; even the mention of high school is enough to make her tense up, like there's a part of her that will always be sixteen and running away from her problems.
Okay, so now she's twenty-one and running away from her problems, so maybe not a lot has changed, except right now she's sitting in a gorgeous house with a half-brother she never even knew she had, so obviously some things have.
"Yeah," he says, shifting on the couch. "I mean, I don't have much to do all day, so catching up on old gossip is kind of the high point of my afternoon."
She smiles, but it feels a little forced; like she still isn't completely comfortable joking about his injury, like she's still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"So," she says. "What are they building?"
"I don't know," he says. "Something next to the football field. A new classroom or something, I guess."
"Next to the football field?" And maybe that's it, what she's been waiting for, because - "Oh, my god."
"What?" Justin asks. He sits up a little, wincing, and Rebecca feels a pang of guilt on top of the low-grade panic building in the pit of her stomach.
"Nothing," she says, and she forces herself to get up slowly, like it's no big deal, like it has nothing to do with their conversation. "I just forgot, I've got this thing -"
"What thing?"
"Um," she says, and by now, she really should be better at thinking on her feet. "Nothing major. I just need to go pick up a few things from the store, and -"
"Like this?"
Justin leans over to grab something from the table, and Rebecca freezes when she sees it. A plain, unmarked video tape, and it could be anything, but it's not, she knows it's not.
"What's that?" she asks, trying to keep her voice steady. Because it's not a big deal, really, not if she can get the tape back, not if he hasn't watched it.
"Oh," he says, in that tone of voice, the one that's still unfamiliar, that means he's just another brother teasing his sister. "I think you know what this is."
"It's not -"
"Marshall High time capsule, Rebecca Harper."
So, okay, it is. But it's not like it's a big deal, maybe, and she has to stop herself from reaching over Justin to grab the tape. Instead, she asks, "How did you get that?"
He shrugs. "I told mom I needed to run a few errands."
"And the school just gave it to you?"
"I told them I was your brother."
And as much as she's spent her life wishing for siblings, there are times, Rebecca thinks, when it was nice to be an only child.
"Justin," she says, "you didn't ..."
And, okay, this is still fixable.
"You didn't watch that, did you?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because -" Because it's private, she wants to scream at him, but maybe he doesn't deserve that. "There's a lot of personal stuff on there, okay?"
"Rebecca, relax," he says, but he's still holding the tape out of her reach. "I didn't watch it. I just thought maybe you'd want to."
"Yeah, well, I don't."
"Okay."
"And promise me you won't," she says, because if he won't give it back, maybe that's the next best thing.
There's a pause, long enough for her to contemplate taking it by force. Then -
"I promise," he says, and she really, really wants to believe him.
-
So, it's 2001. Like the movie, I guess. I don't know if you still watch movies. And we're not in space.
"Justin, are you -"
Justin lunges for the remote as Rebecca enters the study, and that's a big enough giveaway on its own. Not that his expression wouldn't have been enough to tip her off, or the fact that she just heard her own voice coming from the television.
She glances at the screen. "What's that?"
"What"? he asks. "It's nothing, it's just -"
"Is that my tape?" It's a stupid question; on the screen, she's paused in mid sentence. "You were watching this?"
"Rebecca -"
"You promised me you wouldn't watch it."
"I know," he says, and he actually sounds sorry. She isn't sure if she should feel guilty about that, or if she should be mad at him; mostly, she's just horrified. "I'm sorry. Really. Look, I barely watched any of it."
"Justin -"
"I just thought it would be fun, okay?" And he probably did; he's her brother, after all, so maybe she shouldn't even be surprised. "I won't watch it if you really don't want me to."
She really doesn't. And this time, she's taking the tape; Justin is way too bored sitting around at home all day for her to trust him with it.
"Justin," Nora says, when Rebecca is halfway to the television, and she freezes. "Oh, Rebecca, hi. I was just -"
And maybe if she doesn't move, if Nora doesn't look at her, she won't notice anything.
"Rebecca, is that you?"
Okay, so much for that.
"No, it's just -"
"It's her time capsule video," Justin interrupts, and seriously, she's going to kill him, injured leg or not. "She made it in high school."
"You made this?" Nora asks, and Rebecca tries to smile at the same time as she's glaring at Justin. If this thing was ever containable, it isn't now; with the Walkers around, maybe it was a lost cause from the beginning.
"It's no big deal," she says, but she's fighting an uphill battle, and she knows it. Nora has that look in her eyes, the one that means no Walker secret is safe, and Rebecca's the one who wanted to be a part of the family, so maybe she brought this on herself. "It's just a stupid class project."
"Oh, nonsense," Nora says, and Rebecca's mom was never really the kind of mother Nora is, but Rebecca still recognises that same fascination with childhood things. "Come on, there's no reason to be embarrassed. We're all family here."
"Yeah," Justin says, smirking at her, and if Nora wasn't standing right there, Rebecca would smack him. "We're all family."
"It's really not that interesting," she insists, ignoring him.
"Well, we'll only watch a little," Nora says. And she's already settled on the couch opposite Justin's, so that's probably the end of it.
Rebecca looks pointedly at Justin as she sits down next to Nora, and he shrugs, like he had nothing to do with any of this. And then, far too eagerly, he presses play on the remote control.
-
"So, Tommy," Nora says, and it feels like she's breaking a silence that's lasted hours instead of minutes. "How's Julia?"
Tommy looks down at his plate, and Rebecca lets out a breath. Across the table, Justin shoots her a look, and she smiles a little; even amidst the chaos, it's nice to know she has someone on her side.
"Who wants more wine?" Kevin asks, and that seems to go over a little better. He's gone almost before he gets an answer - not that he needed one, probably - and Rebecca finishes what's left in her glass.
Nobody speaks in the time it takes Kevin to get back, and obviously he's well aware of the atmosphere in the room, because he brings two bottles instead of one.
"Kevin," Nora tries again. "Have you heard from Jason?"
Kevin pours the wine silently, then all but drains his glass.
So, that would be a no.
"Rebecca made a time capsule video," Justin says, and her eyes go wide, but she doesn't have time to protest before it seems like everyone starts speaking at once.
"Just now?"
"Really?"
"Can we see it?"
The last is from Kevin, and somehow, that's the one that stands out above the rest. And suddenly, everybody is leaning forward, like the past hour of discomfort has all but been forgotten, and Rebecca's happy about that, she is, but she really wishes it hadn't come at her expense.
She glares at Justin, but he's pretending to be as happily oblivious as always. And she was right, earlier; she never stood a chance at getting out of this one.
"It's -"
"It's from her high school," Justin says, and she wants to be mad at him, but maybe it's better that he's the one doing all the talking. "They dug them up early."
"So can we watch it?" Kevin repeats, and even Kitty looks mildly interested. Which should probably feel like a step forward in their relationship or something, but Rebecca can't shake the feeling that maybe Kitty just wants to see her embarrass herself.
Which she probably can't blame Kitty for entirely. (And she definitely can't blame Sarah, but Sarah's still mostly avoiding eye contact with her.) And maybe this is only fair, like she's been privy to so many of their family secrets that it's about time some of her own were aired.
So -
She looks over at Justin for support, and he's still grinning at her smugly, but almost like he understands, too. So maybe it isn't just an annoying brother thing; maybe he really thinks it will be okay, maybe he wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't.
And when it comes to his family, she probably trusts his judgement more than hers.
"Fine," she says, and reaches for the mostly empty wine bottle. If they're doing thing, she's definitely going to need another drink.
(So maybe she is a Walker, after all.)
-
By the time you're watching this, I'll be in my sixties, which is a really scary thought. I guess we're supposed to imagine what we'll be doing by then, or something, but ...
Rebecca curls up on a corner of the couch as the tape rolls, her eyes fixed on the wall. She can barely look at the television, but everyone else seems to be making up for it, staring at the screen like they wouldn't notice if the house suddenly caught fire. Which maybe they wouldn't; they've all had a lot to drink, after all.
Not that she's tempted to set fire to the kitchen, or anything.
"You look so young," Kevin says, but he's not talking to her, really, or at least he isn't looking at her.
"You hair looks ..." Kitty says, and Rebecca cringes. She hadn't quite recovered form the late nineties yet, she thinks, and this is like looking at old photographs, but with surround sound.
"I think she looks pretty," Nora says, and maybe that's more embarrassing than having everyone else make fun of her. Like having your mom think you're cool, only Rebecca isn't Nora's daughter, more like some stray pet she's adopted.
Okay, maybe that's unfair, but Rebecca has never really felt comfortable in the house, not even since Justin came back, and this isn't helping. Maybe it should feel like they're trying to get to know her, but it's just another reminder, in a long line of them, that she didn't grow up here, that they're not her family, that they really don't know anything about her.
She looks at Justin, but even he's staring at the television like he hasn't seen this part before. She shifts uncomfortably, wishing she had more room to spread out, and settles for tucking her legs underneath her instead.
"Did you really have your first kiss when you were eleven?" Kevin asks, and oh, god, they're up to that part. Maybe she should be paying more attention, after all. "That's early."
She shrugs. "I was precocious."
At least the tape predates Chicago, the mess of the affair and all the stuff she's never planning on telling anyone except Justin. She thinks she can't have been more than fourteen, maybe fifteen, when this was made; how many revealing things could really be on here, after all?
I'm an only child. Which is cool, it's ...
Oh. Right.
So, maybe a lot.
"Hey, guys, maybe we should -"
Okay, so, maybe it would be nice to have a big family. Usually it's just me and my mom ...
Kevin waves her away impatiently, like she's interrupting a really good soap opera, and maybe she'd be able to see it like that if it weren't her life on display. But it's amazing - okay, maybe not for anyone who's ever watched Big Brother, but still - what people will say when they're put in a room alone with a camera, and -
There are other guys, sometimes. I don't really know my dad.
And she's never really liked opening up about her feelings. At least, not when she isn't high, not when there are other people around who can hear her, who'll remember what she said the next morning.
On screen, she laughs, and there's nothing funny about it.
Actually, I don't know my dad at all. I don't even know who he is. Sometimes, I wish ... I wish I had a family. Brothers, and sisters, you know, not just one person who loves me ...
Now they're staring at her, their attention finally divided from the television, but Rebecca doesn't look back at them as she flees to her room.
(Not her room. Kitty's room. She can't even do this right.)
-
It can't have been more than a few minutes before Justin comes in, and Rebecca thinks she was probably expecting it; maybe she even wanted it, maybe that's the reason she didn't lock the door.
"They sent you?" she asks, but she isn't surprised; he probably didn't have a lot of competition on the 'who wants to comfort Rebecca?' front.
"I volunteered," he says, and limps over to sit next to her on the bed, setting his crutches aside. "I wanted to make you you were okay."
"Are they still watching it?" she asks.
Justin doesn't answer, and she rolls her eyes. Of course they are. It's probably like a train wreck; she doubts any of them could look away.
"It's really not that embarrassing," he says, and that's easy for him to say. He's not the one whose life is being held up for scrutiny, who's losing every secret he ever wanted to keep.
"I told you I didn't want to watch it," she says; quietly, because she doesn't really blame him. She thinks she could probably handle Justin watching the tape, but it's all of them, and it's just a little too much for her to deal with right now.
"I'm sorry," he says. "If you want, I can -"
She waves her hand, like it's okay, or maybe just like it's too late for that, anyway. "Don't bother."
"I really -"
"It's okay," she says, and she looks up at him, finally; there's guilt in his expression, concern, and a bunch of other stuff she doesn't really want to analyse, but there's affection there, too, and maybe her fourteen year old self wasn't that far off. It is nice having more than one person who loves her.
And after a minute, they're really just staring at each other, which has moved on from nice and back around to weird.
"Just don't make me go back out there," she says to break the silence, and smiles a little, to let him know she's really okay. She isn't sure if it's true, just yet, but she's pretty confident it will be.
"Okay," he says, and laughs, looking away, like everything's back to normal. "Do you mind if I -"
"Go," she says, and sighs; it's not like the damage hasn't already been done, after all.
Anyway, she's the one who wished for a bigger family.
-
Rebecca climbs into bed and turns the lights off before dinner and a show is over, just in case anybody else is tempted to check on her, so the first time she sees anyone except Justin is at breakfast the next morning.
And it's not like Nora's known for her minimalism, exactly, but making pancakes, waffles, and french toast is a little much, even for her.
"Rebecca," Nora says, beaming as she flips the last of the pancakes onto a plate. "I didn't know which was your favourite, so I made everything."
Rebecca glances at Justin, who's already making a noble (but probably ultimately futile) attempt to make a dent in the piles of food, and he shrugs at her. But it's not like she has to ask; Nora really couldn't be more transparent if she tried.
"Thank you," she says, sliding onto a seat at the kitchen table. "Nora, I mean it, this looks wonderful, but ... you don't have to do this."
Nora looks at her, and Rebecca takes a deep breath.
"I mean, you don't have to try to cheer me up. I'm fine, really."
"Of course you're fine," Nora says, but that doesn't stop her piling a little of everything onto a plate and sliding it in front of Rebecca. "I was just up early this morning, and I thought you'd want breakfast. Now, do you want maple syrup, or blueberry?"
And if they're not talking about this, there probably isn't a way for her to get out of it, either.
"Blueberry," she says, and when Nora turns around, Rebecca slides half her breakfast onto Justin's plate.
And maybe this will be the end of it, but if she knows the Walkers at all, she's not so sure about that.
-
Everybody's so worried about having the right clothes, and the right friends, and listening to the right music. It can be hard. But I just want to be myself. I don't want to feel like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not just so people will like me.
-
The door's standing open, but Kitty knocks, anyway, and Rebecca's a little surprised when she turns around. She thinks maybe she expected Justin, or even Nora, and she tenses instinctively, still remembering the last conversation they had in this room.
"I just came to get some things," Kitty says, and Rebecca nods, standing aside. She hasn't touched anything since the last time Kitty was here, so she can only hope she isn't in for another lecture.
"It's all the same as last time," Rebecca says, probably unnecessarily. "I haven't moved anything else."
"Oh," Kitty says, and waves her hand in an unfamiliar gesture, like she doesn't care about that. Which Rebecca is pretty sure she does, so something else must be going on here.
Kitty moves to the closet, and Rebecca tracks her, warily.
"You know," Kitty says, and Rebecca braces herself. "I really have a lot of shoes."
Okay, so that's not exactly what she was expecting.
Kitty turns around, and she looks way too thoughtful for her expression to be casual. "I don't know if we're the same size or anything, but if you wanted ..."
"You're offering me your shoes?" Rebecca asks, because this is really the last thing she expected.
"Well," Kitty says. "Some of my shoes. To borrow, maybe. If you wanted. I mean, some of them are kind of last season, but they're in pretty good condition, still."
"Okay," Rebecca says; tentatively, because she still isn't completely sure what's going on here, but if this is Kitty's version of reaching out to her, maybe she should just go with it. "You know, there were these really cute red ones -"
"You went through my shoes?" Kitty asks sharply, and that tone is way more familiar.
"I didn't -"
"Not those ones," Kitty says, and then she takes a breath, making a visible effort to steady herself. "Um. I mean, maybe you can borrow those ones. If you promise to be really careful. For a special occasion or something. It's just, they're kind of expensive -"
"You know what?" Rebecca says, because, okay, Kitty's making an effort here, as awkward as it is, and maybe Rebecca should help her out. "Why don't you just - if you see a pair you think would look good on me, maybe I can borrow those."
"Okay," Kitty says, and she doesn't quite smile, but she looks way more relaxed than she had a moment ago.
And Rebecca takes a deep breath, because, it turns out? Having a sister is way more complicated than she thought it would be.
-
The future? God, I don't know. I mean, I'm still a freshman, so ...
I like creative stuff. Photography, art, writing. I tried cooking, once. But, honestly? I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm not sure anyone does. And I don't really have to think about that right now, so ...
I'm sure I'll figure it out.
-
"Rebecca," Kevin says, and she recognises the same false cheer that was in Kitty's voice yesterday. So, he's probably here to talk about the video, too.
She almost wishes they'd stop, but it's kind of nice, in a way.
"You guys should really do more things as a family," she says, because this really can't be the most efficient way to get things done. "If you want to talk about it -"
"What?" he asks, and Rebecca thinks he's probably a better liar in the courtroom. "No, that's not - so mom already got to you, did she?"
"Oh, yeah," Rebecca says, remembering breakfast, and gardening, and half a dozen other 'bonding experiences' Nora has initiated in the past three days. "And Justin, and Kitty ..."
"Kitty?" Kevin asks, like he's surprised, and Rebecca wouldn't believe it, either, if she hadn't been there. "Wow, so I'm coming really late to this."
"A little bit," she says, but it's almost reassuring, like maybe no-one had to force him into this. "So, I mean, it's okay, if you wanted to ..."
"No," he says, and she has to give him credit; he doesn't even sound like he's considering just walking away, even though it has to be tempting. "Listen, I know we never really, you know, talked much, but I was thinking maybe I could take you out to dinner?"
Okay, so at least that was something different.
"Um," she says. "Sure. I guess. Where did you want to go?"
Kevin smiles, and she tries really hard not to let it make her nervous. (And maybe it doesn't entirely work, but whatever.) "I happen to know someone who can get us into San Estephe."
-
"Are you sure we're allowed to come in this way?" she asks, and Kevin just looks at her, like, of course he is.
But, okay, she's seen some of the things that are considered normal behaviour by his family, so -
"I don't really think we're supposed to use the back entrance."
But Kevin holds the door open for her, and she goes in ahead of him, because maybe it's easier getting into trouble than making a big deal out of this.
"I told you," he says, and she walks slowly, because they're headed towards the kitchen, and that doesn't seem like it should be right. "I know someone."
"Kevin," the someone says a minute later, and, okay, maybe they are allowed in the kitchen. It's still weird.
"Scotty," Kevin says, and Rebecca tries to get it straight in her head; Scotty isn't Kevin's boyfriend, because Kevin is dating Senator McCallister's brother, but there's definitely something between them.
Whatever, it's not like she's in any position to judge.
"This is Rebecca," Kevin continues, and Scotty looks at her, like, that Rebecca, like of course he knows who she is. "Rebecca, this is Scotty. He works here."
"I'm an apprentice sous chef," Scotty says, but he's smiling, like he's happy to meet her. "I work here for free."
"For now," Kevin says, and yeah, there's definitely something going on between them.
"Anyway," Scotty says, and Kevin gestures towards a table that's already made up; like, it's just a fold away or whatever, but it's covered in a tablecloth that looks like it cost more than her dress, so it's still a lot fancier than anything else she's used to. And then Scotty brings them over a couple of glasses of wine that definitely cost more than her dress, and whatever he's cooking, apprentice sous chef or not, smells really, really good.
"Um," she says, sitting down, and then, "thank you." And she's not sure who she's thanking, really, but Kevin and Scotty both smile.
"I just thought," Kevin says, and he takes a sip of his wine, which is probably a good idea. "I'd, you know. That this would be nice."
"It is," she says, and means it. She's weighing up being publicly humiliated in front of the entire family versus having them actually act like they care about her, and it's not exactly coming out in a wash, but maybe it's close enough. "Really, this is great. Thank you."
"Bon appetit," Scotty says, laying a plate down in front of her, and Rebecca takes one bite before deciding she's really, really going to have to ask him how to make this.
-
I think I always kind of wished, you know, that I had a big brother looking out for me? That's probably stupid. God, how do you erase this thing? Anyway, my mom's pretty cool about me dating, so I'd probably miss that.
-
She's making a sandwich when Tommy comes into the kitchen, with a look on his face that lets her know it isn't a coincidence that they're both there.
"So," he says, and she puts her plate down, because this might take a while.
"You don't have to do this," she says. "I've already got the talk from Kitty and Kevin. And Justin, and your mom."
"Yeah," he says. "I was feeling a little left out."
And she laughs, because what else is there to do, really?
"So," he says, finally. "That Carter Espen guy."
Rebecca cringes, because, oh, god, that would have happened already.
"I kind of feel like I should punch him, or something. You know, get all protective big brother on you."
"I think I still know where he lives," she says, because, honestly? She probably wouldn't hate seeing that.
"You know, I think Justin knew that guy in high school."
"He did," she says. "I guess we kind of ran in the same circles."
"I'm surprised you two never met," he says, and then, "can you imagine if you ..."
And she cringes again, because, yeah, she can. And it was awkward enough talking about it with Justin.
"I guess we were lucky," she says, and ignores the twisting feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Do you want a sandwich? I was already making one, so ..."
Tommy sits down, and smiles, and they haven't said much, but this still feels like the most in depth conversation they've ever had.
"Yeah," he says. "I'd love one. Thanks."
All things considered, she thinks that probably could have gone a lot worse.
-
I don't know. It's not like I date a lot of guys. At least, not any more than most of my friends do. I like older guys ...
-
Rebecca isn't sure, really, if she expected Sarah to come. Kitty had been enough of a surprise, but she and Sarah have barely spoken since she confessed the truth about Joe, and she doesn't blame Sarah for avoiding her.
If the past week has taught her anything, it's that her life hasn't been a series of mistakes. It's more like the same mistake, repeated over and over again.
"Justin told me you went out with Kevin the other day."
Of course Justin is responsible; he's probably the only one who cares enough to meddle this much, and it's not like Sarah was likely to come around on her own.
"Yeah," she says, noncommittally, because she doesn't want to force this, and maybe it's best if she just says as little as possible.
"And that you talked to Tommy, and Kitty ..."
"Sarah," she says, when Sarah doesn't say anything for a minute. "You don't have to try to make me feel better."
"Oh, I know," Sarah says, and at least there's no false sympathy in her voice. "I don't really care about the video."
Oh.
"So, why are you -"
Sarah looks her in the eyes, and there isn't sympathy there, exactly, but there isn't hatred, either. So maybe that's a start.
"I just thought you should know," Sarah says, and what she says next should be harsh, but it isn't. "That nobody really cares."
Oddly, Rebecca thinks that might be the most reassuring thing that any of them have said.
-
But, yeah, I have fun. I mean, I don't know what you guys do for fun these days ...
Rebecca really shouldn't be surprised that they're watching the video when she gets back to the house. It's not like they haven't had it on repeat for the past week, after all.
(At least one thing she can say for the repetition is that she's almost stopped caring.)
"Rebecca," Justin says. He's the only one who looks up guiltily; maybe the others don't care, or maybe he's the only one who knows how much she didn't want people watching it.
"It's okay," she says, but he comes over anyway, even though it can't be easy on the crutches.
"I know you were upset about this," he says, and at least he lowers his voice enough so the rest of his family can't hear them.
"I was," she says, and -
Was, she thinks; she wonders when that changed.
"But it's okay now, really."
She glances at the screen, and, oh, maybe it's not okay.
Am I a virgin? Um -
"Wow," she says, and leaps forward, switching off the television. "Okay, maybe we should just not watch that part."
"We were just getting to the good bit," Kevin says, and Justin shambles forward beside her.
"How do you know what's the good bit?" he asks, sinking back down onto the couch.
Kevin ducks his head, and that's enough of an answer for her.
"You watched it?" Justin asks.
"You didn't?" Kevin asks, just as incredulous.
Rebecca glances at Justin, just to make sure, and, okay, maybe one good thing came out of all of this.
"How about none of us watch it," Nora says, and Rebecca has never been so glad to have someone intervene in her life. "I think maybe we should give the tape back to Rebecca."
There are a few muttered groans, silenced when Nora looks sharply at the couch, and then she ejects the tape, handing it to Rebecca.
She's probably going to have to destroy the tape, she thinks. Either that, or hide it somewhere no-one will ever find it.
Maybe she could bury it again.
"Anyway," Nora says, in a tone that means the discussion is over. "We have a party to get ready for."
"A party?" Rebecca asks, and she really doesn't like the look on Nora's face.
"It's for you," Kevin says, and, yeah, she knew she didn't like that look.
"It'll be fine," Justin says, standing beside her again, and laughs when she looks up at him. "Okay, maybe not fine. But it can't be worse than this, can it?"
Rebecca wants to answer, but with the Walkers, she's never really sure.
"Besides," he says. "Just think of it this way. You're officially part of the family now."
Should I be scared? she wants to ask, but she already knows the answer to that question.
Absolutely, and not at all.
Fandom: Brothers & Sisters
Character(s): Rebecca, Ensemble
Word Count: 5275
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Justin discovers a time capsule video Rebecca made in high school.
Notes: Set during early season two. Written for
femgenficathon.They're sitting in the study, eating lunch and talking about Nora's latest project to dig up the back yard, when Justin drops the bombshell.
"Speaking of digging things up," he says, and there's something in his expression that immediately sets her nerves on edge. "I heard Marshall's putting in a new building."
"You did?" Rebecca can't help it; even the mention of high school is enough to make her tense up, like there's a part of her that will always be sixteen and running away from her problems.
Okay, so now she's twenty-one and running away from her problems, so maybe not a lot has changed, except right now she's sitting in a gorgeous house with a half-brother she never even knew she had, so obviously some things have.
"Yeah," he says, shifting on the couch. "I mean, I don't have much to do all day, so catching up on old gossip is kind of the high point of my afternoon."
She smiles, but it feels a little forced; like she still isn't completely comfortable joking about his injury, like she's still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"So," she says. "What are they building?"
"I don't know," he says. "Something next to the football field. A new classroom or something, I guess."
"Next to the football field?" And maybe that's it, what she's been waiting for, because - "Oh, my god."
"What?" Justin asks. He sits up a little, wincing, and Rebecca feels a pang of guilt on top of the low-grade panic building in the pit of her stomach.
"Nothing," she says, and she forces herself to get up slowly, like it's no big deal, like it has nothing to do with their conversation. "I just forgot, I've got this thing -"
"What thing?"
"Um," she says, and by now, she really should be better at thinking on her feet. "Nothing major. I just need to go pick up a few things from the store, and -"
"Like this?"
Justin leans over to grab something from the table, and Rebecca freezes when she sees it. A plain, unmarked video tape, and it could be anything, but it's not, she knows it's not.
"What's that?" she asks, trying to keep her voice steady. Because it's not a big deal, really, not if she can get the tape back, not if he hasn't watched it.
"Oh," he says, in that tone of voice, the one that's still unfamiliar, that means he's just another brother teasing his sister. "I think you know what this is."
"It's not -"
"Marshall High time capsule, Rebecca Harper."
So, okay, it is. But it's not like it's a big deal, maybe, and she has to stop herself from reaching over Justin to grab the tape. Instead, she asks, "How did you get that?"
He shrugs. "I told mom I needed to run a few errands."
"And the school just gave it to you?"
"I told them I was your brother."
And as much as she's spent her life wishing for siblings, there are times, Rebecca thinks, when it was nice to be an only child.
"Justin," she says, "you didn't ..."
And, okay, this is still fixable.
"You didn't watch that, did you?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because -" Because it's private, she wants to scream at him, but maybe he doesn't deserve that. "There's a lot of personal stuff on there, okay?"
"Rebecca, relax," he says, but he's still holding the tape out of her reach. "I didn't watch it. I just thought maybe you'd want to."
"Yeah, well, I don't."
"Okay."
"And promise me you won't," she says, because if he won't give it back, maybe that's the next best thing.
There's a pause, long enough for her to contemplate taking it by force. Then -
"I promise," he says, and she really, really wants to believe him.
-
So, it's 2001. Like the movie, I guess. I don't know if you still watch movies. And we're not in space.
"Justin, are you -"
Justin lunges for the remote as Rebecca enters the study, and that's a big enough giveaway on its own. Not that his expression wouldn't have been enough to tip her off, or the fact that she just heard her own voice coming from the television.
She glances at the screen. "What's that?"
"What"? he asks. "It's nothing, it's just -"
"Is that my tape?" It's a stupid question; on the screen, she's paused in mid sentence. "You were watching this?"
"Rebecca -"
"You promised me you wouldn't watch it."
"I know," he says, and he actually sounds sorry. She isn't sure if she should feel guilty about that, or if she should be mad at him; mostly, she's just horrified. "I'm sorry. Really. Look, I barely watched any of it."
"Justin -"
"I just thought it would be fun, okay?" And he probably did; he's her brother, after all, so maybe she shouldn't even be surprised. "I won't watch it if you really don't want me to."
She really doesn't. And this time, she's taking the tape; Justin is way too bored sitting around at home all day for her to trust him with it.
"Justin," Nora says, when Rebecca is halfway to the television, and she freezes. "Oh, Rebecca, hi. I was just -"
And maybe if she doesn't move, if Nora doesn't look at her, she won't notice anything.
"Rebecca, is that you?"
Okay, so much for that.
"No, it's just -"
"It's her time capsule video," Justin interrupts, and seriously, she's going to kill him, injured leg or not. "She made it in high school."
"You made this?" Nora asks, and Rebecca tries to smile at the same time as she's glaring at Justin. If this thing was ever containable, it isn't now; with the Walkers around, maybe it was a lost cause from the beginning.
"It's no big deal," she says, but she's fighting an uphill battle, and she knows it. Nora has that look in her eyes, the one that means no Walker secret is safe, and Rebecca's the one who wanted to be a part of the family, so maybe she brought this on herself. "It's just a stupid class project."
"Oh, nonsense," Nora says, and Rebecca's mom was never really the kind of mother Nora is, but Rebecca still recognises that same fascination with childhood things. "Come on, there's no reason to be embarrassed. We're all family here."
"Yeah," Justin says, smirking at her, and if Nora wasn't standing right there, Rebecca would smack him. "We're all family."
"It's really not that interesting," she insists, ignoring him.
"Well, we'll only watch a little," Nora says. And she's already settled on the couch opposite Justin's, so that's probably the end of it.
Rebecca looks pointedly at Justin as she sits down next to Nora, and he shrugs, like he had nothing to do with any of this. And then, far too eagerly, he presses play on the remote control.
-
"So, Tommy," Nora says, and it feels like she's breaking a silence that's lasted hours instead of minutes. "How's Julia?"
Tommy looks down at his plate, and Rebecca lets out a breath. Across the table, Justin shoots her a look, and she smiles a little; even amidst the chaos, it's nice to know she has someone on her side.
"Who wants more wine?" Kevin asks, and that seems to go over a little better. He's gone almost before he gets an answer - not that he needed one, probably - and Rebecca finishes what's left in her glass.
Nobody speaks in the time it takes Kevin to get back, and obviously he's well aware of the atmosphere in the room, because he brings two bottles instead of one.
"Kevin," Nora tries again. "Have you heard from Jason?"
Kevin pours the wine silently, then all but drains his glass.
So, that would be a no.
"Rebecca made a time capsule video," Justin says, and her eyes go wide, but she doesn't have time to protest before it seems like everyone starts speaking at once.
"Just now?"
"Really?"
"Can we see it?"
The last is from Kevin, and somehow, that's the one that stands out above the rest. And suddenly, everybody is leaning forward, like the past hour of discomfort has all but been forgotten, and Rebecca's happy about that, she is, but she really wishes it hadn't come at her expense.
She glares at Justin, but he's pretending to be as happily oblivious as always. And she was right, earlier; she never stood a chance at getting out of this one.
"It's -"
"It's from her high school," Justin says, and she wants to be mad at him, but maybe it's better that he's the one doing all the talking. "They dug them up early."
"So can we watch it?" Kevin repeats, and even Kitty looks mildly interested. Which should probably feel like a step forward in their relationship or something, but Rebecca can't shake the feeling that maybe Kitty just wants to see her embarrass herself.
Which she probably can't blame Kitty for entirely. (And she definitely can't blame Sarah, but Sarah's still mostly avoiding eye contact with her.) And maybe this is only fair, like she's been privy to so many of their family secrets that it's about time some of her own were aired.
So -
She looks over at Justin for support, and he's still grinning at her smugly, but almost like he understands, too. So maybe it isn't just an annoying brother thing; maybe he really thinks it will be okay, maybe he wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't.
And when it comes to his family, she probably trusts his judgement more than hers.
"Fine," she says, and reaches for the mostly empty wine bottle. If they're doing thing, she's definitely going to need another drink.
(So maybe she is a Walker, after all.)
-
By the time you're watching this, I'll be in my sixties, which is a really scary thought. I guess we're supposed to imagine what we'll be doing by then, or something, but ...
Rebecca curls up on a corner of the couch as the tape rolls, her eyes fixed on the wall. She can barely look at the television, but everyone else seems to be making up for it, staring at the screen like they wouldn't notice if the house suddenly caught fire. Which maybe they wouldn't; they've all had a lot to drink, after all.
Not that she's tempted to set fire to the kitchen, or anything.
"You look so young," Kevin says, but he's not talking to her, really, or at least he isn't looking at her.
"You hair looks ..." Kitty says, and Rebecca cringes. She hadn't quite recovered form the late nineties yet, she thinks, and this is like looking at old photographs, but with surround sound.
"I think she looks pretty," Nora says, and maybe that's more embarrassing than having everyone else make fun of her. Like having your mom think you're cool, only Rebecca isn't Nora's daughter, more like some stray pet she's adopted.
Okay, maybe that's unfair, but Rebecca has never really felt comfortable in the house, not even since Justin came back, and this isn't helping. Maybe it should feel like they're trying to get to know her, but it's just another reminder, in a long line of them, that she didn't grow up here, that they're not her family, that they really don't know anything about her.
She looks at Justin, but even he's staring at the television like he hasn't seen this part before. She shifts uncomfortably, wishing she had more room to spread out, and settles for tucking her legs underneath her instead.
"Did you really have your first kiss when you were eleven?" Kevin asks, and oh, god, they're up to that part. Maybe she should be paying more attention, after all. "That's early."
She shrugs. "I was precocious."
At least the tape predates Chicago, the mess of the affair and all the stuff she's never planning on telling anyone except Justin. She thinks she can't have been more than fourteen, maybe fifteen, when this was made; how many revealing things could really be on here, after all?
I'm an only child. Which is cool, it's ...
Oh. Right.
So, maybe a lot.
"Hey, guys, maybe we should -"
Okay, so, maybe it would be nice to have a big family. Usually it's just me and my mom ...
Kevin waves her away impatiently, like she's interrupting a really good soap opera, and maybe she'd be able to see it like that if it weren't her life on display. But it's amazing - okay, maybe not for anyone who's ever watched Big Brother, but still - what people will say when they're put in a room alone with a camera, and -
There are other guys, sometimes. I don't really know my dad.
And she's never really liked opening up about her feelings. At least, not when she isn't high, not when there are other people around who can hear her, who'll remember what she said the next morning.
On screen, she laughs, and there's nothing funny about it.
Actually, I don't know my dad at all. I don't even know who he is. Sometimes, I wish ... I wish I had a family. Brothers, and sisters, you know, not just one person who loves me ...
Now they're staring at her, their attention finally divided from the television, but Rebecca doesn't look back at them as she flees to her room.
(Not her room. Kitty's room. She can't even do this right.)
-
It can't have been more than a few minutes before Justin comes in, and Rebecca thinks she was probably expecting it; maybe she even wanted it, maybe that's the reason she didn't lock the door.
"They sent you?" she asks, but she isn't surprised; he probably didn't have a lot of competition on the 'who wants to comfort Rebecca?' front.
"I volunteered," he says, and limps over to sit next to her on the bed, setting his crutches aside. "I wanted to make you you were okay."
"Are they still watching it?" she asks.
Justin doesn't answer, and she rolls her eyes. Of course they are. It's probably like a train wreck; she doubts any of them could look away.
"It's really not that embarrassing," he says, and that's easy for him to say. He's not the one whose life is being held up for scrutiny, who's losing every secret he ever wanted to keep.
"I told you I didn't want to watch it," she says; quietly, because she doesn't really blame him. She thinks she could probably handle Justin watching the tape, but it's all of them, and it's just a little too much for her to deal with right now.
"I'm sorry," he says. "If you want, I can -"
She waves her hand, like it's okay, or maybe just like it's too late for that, anyway. "Don't bother."
"I really -"
"It's okay," she says, and she looks up at him, finally; there's guilt in his expression, concern, and a bunch of other stuff she doesn't really want to analyse, but there's affection there, too, and maybe her fourteen year old self wasn't that far off. It is nice having more than one person who loves her.
And after a minute, they're really just staring at each other, which has moved on from nice and back around to weird.
"Just don't make me go back out there," she says to break the silence, and smiles a little, to let him know she's really okay. She isn't sure if it's true, just yet, but she's pretty confident it will be.
"Okay," he says, and laughs, looking away, like everything's back to normal. "Do you mind if I -"
"Go," she says, and sighs; it's not like the damage hasn't already been done, after all.
Anyway, she's the one who wished for a bigger family.
-
Rebecca climbs into bed and turns the lights off before dinner and a show is over, just in case anybody else is tempted to check on her, so the first time she sees anyone except Justin is at breakfast the next morning.
And it's not like Nora's known for her minimalism, exactly, but making pancakes, waffles, and french toast is a little much, even for her.
"Rebecca," Nora says, beaming as she flips the last of the pancakes onto a plate. "I didn't know which was your favourite, so I made everything."
Rebecca glances at Justin, who's already making a noble (but probably ultimately futile) attempt to make a dent in the piles of food, and he shrugs at her. But it's not like she has to ask; Nora really couldn't be more transparent if she tried.
"Thank you," she says, sliding onto a seat at the kitchen table. "Nora, I mean it, this looks wonderful, but ... you don't have to do this."
Nora looks at her, and Rebecca takes a deep breath.
"I mean, you don't have to try to cheer me up. I'm fine, really."
"Of course you're fine," Nora says, but that doesn't stop her piling a little of everything onto a plate and sliding it in front of Rebecca. "I was just up early this morning, and I thought you'd want breakfast. Now, do you want maple syrup, or blueberry?"
And if they're not talking about this, there probably isn't a way for her to get out of it, either.
"Blueberry," she says, and when Nora turns around, Rebecca slides half her breakfast onto Justin's plate.
And maybe this will be the end of it, but if she knows the Walkers at all, she's not so sure about that.
-
Everybody's so worried about having the right clothes, and the right friends, and listening to the right music. It can be hard. But I just want to be myself. I don't want to feel like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not just so people will like me.
-
The door's standing open, but Kitty knocks, anyway, and Rebecca's a little surprised when she turns around. She thinks maybe she expected Justin, or even Nora, and she tenses instinctively, still remembering the last conversation they had in this room.
"I just came to get some things," Kitty says, and Rebecca nods, standing aside. She hasn't touched anything since the last time Kitty was here, so she can only hope she isn't in for another lecture.
"It's all the same as last time," Rebecca says, probably unnecessarily. "I haven't moved anything else."
"Oh," Kitty says, and waves her hand in an unfamiliar gesture, like she doesn't care about that. Which Rebecca is pretty sure she does, so something else must be going on here.
Kitty moves to the closet, and Rebecca tracks her, warily.
"You know," Kitty says, and Rebecca braces herself. "I really have a lot of shoes."
Okay, so that's not exactly what she was expecting.
Kitty turns around, and she looks way too thoughtful for her expression to be casual. "I don't know if we're the same size or anything, but if you wanted ..."
"You're offering me your shoes?" Rebecca asks, because this is really the last thing she expected.
"Well," Kitty says. "Some of my shoes. To borrow, maybe. If you wanted. I mean, some of them are kind of last season, but they're in pretty good condition, still."
"Okay," Rebecca says; tentatively, because she still isn't completely sure what's going on here, but if this is Kitty's version of reaching out to her, maybe she should just go with it. "You know, there were these really cute red ones -"
"You went through my shoes?" Kitty asks sharply, and that tone is way more familiar.
"I didn't -"
"Not those ones," Kitty says, and then she takes a breath, making a visible effort to steady herself. "Um. I mean, maybe you can borrow those ones. If you promise to be really careful. For a special occasion or something. It's just, they're kind of expensive -"
"You know what?" Rebecca says, because, okay, Kitty's making an effort here, as awkward as it is, and maybe Rebecca should help her out. "Why don't you just - if you see a pair you think would look good on me, maybe I can borrow those."
"Okay," Kitty says, and she doesn't quite smile, but she looks way more relaxed than she had a moment ago.
And Rebecca takes a deep breath, because, it turns out? Having a sister is way more complicated than she thought it would be.
-
The future? God, I don't know. I mean, I'm still a freshman, so ...
I like creative stuff. Photography, art, writing. I tried cooking, once. But, honestly? I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm not sure anyone does. And I don't really have to think about that right now, so ...
I'm sure I'll figure it out.
-
"Rebecca," Kevin says, and she recognises the same false cheer that was in Kitty's voice yesterday. So, he's probably here to talk about the video, too.
She almost wishes they'd stop, but it's kind of nice, in a way.
"You guys should really do more things as a family," she says, because this really can't be the most efficient way to get things done. "If you want to talk about it -"
"What?" he asks, and Rebecca thinks he's probably a better liar in the courtroom. "No, that's not - so mom already got to you, did she?"
"Oh, yeah," Rebecca says, remembering breakfast, and gardening, and half a dozen other 'bonding experiences' Nora has initiated in the past three days. "And Justin, and Kitty ..."
"Kitty?" Kevin asks, like he's surprised, and Rebecca wouldn't believe it, either, if she hadn't been there. "Wow, so I'm coming really late to this."
"A little bit," she says, but it's almost reassuring, like maybe no-one had to force him into this. "So, I mean, it's okay, if you wanted to ..."
"No," he says, and she has to give him credit; he doesn't even sound like he's considering just walking away, even though it has to be tempting. "Listen, I know we never really, you know, talked much, but I was thinking maybe I could take you out to dinner?"
Okay, so at least that was something different.
"Um," she says. "Sure. I guess. Where did you want to go?"
Kevin smiles, and she tries really hard not to let it make her nervous. (And maybe it doesn't entirely work, but whatever.) "I happen to know someone who can get us into San Estephe."
-
"Are you sure we're allowed to come in this way?" she asks, and Kevin just looks at her, like, of course he is.
But, okay, she's seen some of the things that are considered normal behaviour by his family, so -
"I don't really think we're supposed to use the back entrance."
But Kevin holds the door open for her, and she goes in ahead of him, because maybe it's easier getting into trouble than making a big deal out of this.
"I told you," he says, and she walks slowly, because they're headed towards the kitchen, and that doesn't seem like it should be right. "I know someone."
"Kevin," the someone says a minute later, and, okay, maybe they are allowed in the kitchen. It's still weird.
"Scotty," Kevin says, and Rebecca tries to get it straight in her head; Scotty isn't Kevin's boyfriend, because Kevin is dating Senator McCallister's brother, but there's definitely something between them.
Whatever, it's not like she's in any position to judge.
"This is Rebecca," Kevin continues, and Scotty looks at her, like, that Rebecca, like of course he knows who she is. "Rebecca, this is Scotty. He works here."
"I'm an apprentice sous chef," Scotty says, but he's smiling, like he's happy to meet her. "I work here for free."
"For now," Kevin says, and yeah, there's definitely something going on between them.
"Anyway," Scotty says, and Kevin gestures towards a table that's already made up; like, it's just a fold away or whatever, but it's covered in a tablecloth that looks like it cost more than her dress, so it's still a lot fancier than anything else she's used to. And then Scotty brings them over a couple of glasses of wine that definitely cost more than her dress, and whatever he's cooking, apprentice sous chef or not, smells really, really good.
"Um," she says, sitting down, and then, "thank you." And she's not sure who she's thanking, really, but Kevin and Scotty both smile.
"I just thought," Kevin says, and he takes a sip of his wine, which is probably a good idea. "I'd, you know. That this would be nice."
"It is," she says, and means it. She's weighing up being publicly humiliated in front of the entire family versus having them actually act like they care about her, and it's not exactly coming out in a wash, but maybe it's close enough. "Really, this is great. Thank you."
"Bon appetit," Scotty says, laying a plate down in front of her, and Rebecca takes one bite before deciding she's really, really going to have to ask him how to make this.
-
I think I always kind of wished, you know, that I had a big brother looking out for me? That's probably stupid. God, how do you erase this thing? Anyway, my mom's pretty cool about me dating, so I'd probably miss that.
-
She's making a sandwich when Tommy comes into the kitchen, with a look on his face that lets her know it isn't a coincidence that they're both there.
"So," he says, and she puts her plate down, because this might take a while.
"You don't have to do this," she says. "I've already got the talk from Kitty and Kevin. And Justin, and your mom."
"Yeah," he says. "I was feeling a little left out."
And she laughs, because what else is there to do, really?
"So," he says, finally. "That Carter Espen guy."
Rebecca cringes, because, oh, god, that would have happened already.
"I kind of feel like I should punch him, or something. You know, get all protective big brother on you."
"I think I still know where he lives," she says, because, honestly? She probably wouldn't hate seeing that.
"You know, I think Justin knew that guy in high school."
"He did," she says. "I guess we kind of ran in the same circles."
"I'm surprised you two never met," he says, and then, "can you imagine if you ..."
And she cringes again, because, yeah, she can. And it was awkward enough talking about it with Justin.
"I guess we were lucky," she says, and ignores the twisting feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Do you want a sandwich? I was already making one, so ..."
Tommy sits down, and smiles, and they haven't said much, but this still feels like the most in depth conversation they've ever had.
"Yeah," he says. "I'd love one. Thanks."
All things considered, she thinks that probably could have gone a lot worse.
-
I don't know. It's not like I date a lot of guys. At least, not any more than most of my friends do. I like older guys ...
-
Rebecca isn't sure, really, if she expected Sarah to come. Kitty had been enough of a surprise, but she and Sarah have barely spoken since she confessed the truth about Joe, and she doesn't blame Sarah for avoiding her.
If the past week has taught her anything, it's that her life hasn't been a series of mistakes. It's more like the same mistake, repeated over and over again.
"Justin told me you went out with Kevin the other day."
Of course Justin is responsible; he's probably the only one who cares enough to meddle this much, and it's not like Sarah was likely to come around on her own.
"Yeah," she says, noncommittally, because she doesn't want to force this, and maybe it's best if she just says as little as possible.
"And that you talked to Tommy, and Kitty ..."
"Sarah," she says, when Sarah doesn't say anything for a minute. "You don't have to try to make me feel better."
"Oh, I know," Sarah says, and at least there's no false sympathy in her voice. "I don't really care about the video."
Oh.
"So, why are you -"
Sarah looks her in the eyes, and there isn't sympathy there, exactly, but there isn't hatred, either. So maybe that's a start.
"I just thought you should know," Sarah says, and what she says next should be harsh, but it isn't. "That nobody really cares."
Oddly, Rebecca thinks that might be the most reassuring thing that any of them have said.
-
But, yeah, I have fun. I mean, I don't know what you guys do for fun these days ...
Rebecca really shouldn't be surprised that they're watching the video when she gets back to the house. It's not like they haven't had it on repeat for the past week, after all.
(At least one thing she can say for the repetition is that she's almost stopped caring.)
"Rebecca," Justin says. He's the only one who looks up guiltily; maybe the others don't care, or maybe he's the only one who knows how much she didn't want people watching it.
"It's okay," she says, but he comes over anyway, even though it can't be easy on the crutches.
"I know you were upset about this," he says, and at least he lowers his voice enough so the rest of his family can't hear them.
"I was," she says, and -
Was, she thinks; she wonders when that changed.
"But it's okay now, really."
She glances at the screen, and, oh, maybe it's not okay.
Am I a virgin? Um -
"Wow," she says, and leaps forward, switching off the television. "Okay, maybe we should just not watch that part."
"We were just getting to the good bit," Kevin says, and Justin shambles forward beside her.
"How do you know what's the good bit?" he asks, sinking back down onto the couch.
Kevin ducks his head, and that's enough of an answer for her.
"You watched it?" Justin asks.
"You didn't?" Kevin asks, just as incredulous.
Rebecca glances at Justin, just to make sure, and, okay, maybe one good thing came out of all of this.
"How about none of us watch it," Nora says, and Rebecca has never been so glad to have someone intervene in her life. "I think maybe we should give the tape back to Rebecca."
There are a few muttered groans, silenced when Nora looks sharply at the couch, and then she ejects the tape, handing it to Rebecca.
She's probably going to have to destroy the tape, she thinks. Either that, or hide it somewhere no-one will ever find it.
Maybe she could bury it again.
"Anyway," Nora says, in a tone that means the discussion is over. "We have a party to get ready for."
"A party?" Rebecca asks, and she really doesn't like the look on Nora's face.
"It's for you," Kevin says, and, yeah, she knew she didn't like that look.
"It'll be fine," Justin says, standing beside her again, and laughs when she looks up at him. "Okay, maybe not fine. But it can't be worse than this, can it?"
Rebecca wants to answer, but with the Walkers, she's never really sure.
"Besides," he says. "Just think of it this way. You're officially part of the family now."
Should I be scared? she wants to ask, but she already knows the answer to that question.
Absolutely, and not at all.