![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Sigh, diplomacy
Being diplomatic is hard.
It's especially hard, I think, online. In person, I find it much easier to be nice to people because, while having virtual people hate me through the safety of my computer screen is one thing, having *actual* people be mad at me, face to face, is something I really hate.
That's not to say that I act differently online than I do in person. If anything, sometimes I find it much easier to be myself; there's something about the mode of communication that's fairly intimate, and written small talk tends to get old, fast. I'm also less prone to embarrassment online; it's much easier to be forward with someone when you're a few thousand miles away, and if things ever get too bad, you can usually delete what you've written.
That said ... I think I'm pretty much a nice person, but sometimes people make it very difficult. If I don't think I'm going to be able to hold my tongue, I'll usually try not to place myself in a situation where that could be a problem. If someone I'm not too fond of writes something, or if someone I don't know writes something very stupid, and I don't think I can reply without being snarky? I won't reply. If I see a thread on a subject I know gets me worked up, a lot of the time I won't even read it. I know there are certain subjects I just can't be dispassionate about, no matter what may be at stake.
Most of the time, though, I try to be nice. If someone asks a stupid question, well, my first instinct may be to make fun of them, but hey, they're probably new. Why not help them out, and next time they can do the same for someone else?
When there's a situation that's personal, and in which you're expected to reply, it gets harder still. I recently posted a short story online, to a few places. I was looking for feedback, and I'm not complaining that I got it. That said, though, it can be really hard to sit here and say thank you to people who are, well, rude.
I don't expect everyone to like what I write. The story in question particularly. The subject matter in itself probably means that a lot of people won't like it. I'm very much okay with that; hell, it's not supposed to be a nice story. Halfway through writing it, I wanted to stop and give it a happy ending. All the way through writing it, I felt physically ill. If at least some of that didn't come across, I'd think I'd done a really bad job.
I don't even expect everyone to like how it's written. I happen to think I'm a good writer, but I know damn well I can still improve. People have different tastes when it comes to writing styles, and I'm not arrogant enough to think that I'm such a good writer that no-one will think any different. Of course, it's always better when people give constructive criticism - saying "I think it was rushed at the end" is infinitely preferable to "it was okay" - but at the end of the day, reviewers have the right to say what they like. That's the chance you take when you post something for others to read.
Still, it's hard to be thankful for the criticism when people say very little positive about your work. Particularly when their criticism rests almost entirely on personal preference - liking fully resolved storylines over open-ended ones, for example - or when the review is contradictory; saying that it was terrible, and I should write more, is just confusing. And I have to sit and smile through the whole thing, and say "thank you."
Sigh. I'm not sure if this makes me more Gray than I thought, or less.
It's especially hard, I think, online. In person, I find it much easier to be nice to people because, while having virtual people hate me through the safety of my computer screen is one thing, having *actual* people be mad at me, face to face, is something I really hate.
That's not to say that I act differently online than I do in person. If anything, sometimes I find it much easier to be myself; there's something about the mode of communication that's fairly intimate, and written small talk tends to get old, fast. I'm also less prone to embarrassment online; it's much easier to be forward with someone when you're a few thousand miles away, and if things ever get too bad, you can usually delete what you've written.
That said ... I think I'm pretty much a nice person, but sometimes people make it very difficult. If I don't think I'm going to be able to hold my tongue, I'll usually try not to place myself in a situation where that could be a problem. If someone I'm not too fond of writes something, or if someone I don't know writes something very stupid, and I don't think I can reply without being snarky? I won't reply. If I see a thread on a subject I know gets me worked up, a lot of the time I won't even read it. I know there are certain subjects I just can't be dispassionate about, no matter what may be at stake.
Most of the time, though, I try to be nice. If someone asks a stupid question, well, my first instinct may be to make fun of them, but hey, they're probably new. Why not help them out, and next time they can do the same for someone else?
When there's a situation that's personal, and in which you're expected to reply, it gets harder still. I recently posted a short story online, to a few places. I was looking for feedback, and I'm not complaining that I got it. That said, though, it can be really hard to sit here and say thank you to people who are, well, rude.
I don't expect everyone to like what I write. The story in question particularly. The subject matter in itself probably means that a lot of people won't like it. I'm very much okay with that; hell, it's not supposed to be a nice story. Halfway through writing it, I wanted to stop and give it a happy ending. All the way through writing it, I felt physically ill. If at least some of that didn't come across, I'd think I'd done a really bad job.
I don't even expect everyone to like how it's written. I happen to think I'm a good writer, but I know damn well I can still improve. People have different tastes when it comes to writing styles, and I'm not arrogant enough to think that I'm such a good writer that no-one will think any different. Of course, it's always better when people give constructive criticism - saying "I think it was rushed at the end" is infinitely preferable to "it was okay" - but at the end of the day, reviewers have the right to say what they like. That's the chance you take when you post something for others to read.
Still, it's hard to be thankful for the criticism when people say very little positive about your work. Particularly when their criticism rests almost entirely on personal preference - liking fully resolved storylines over open-ended ones, for example - or when the review is contradictory; saying that it was terrible, and I should write more, is just confusing. And I have to sit and smile through the whole thing, and say "thank you."
Sigh. I'm not sure if this makes me more Gray than I thought, or less.
no subject
If you're talking about the posts you've made re the recent TV developments, I think you've done a great job at being diplomatic and explaining your opinion. :D
no subject