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Fanmix + Picspam: Don't Dump Me While I'm In The Dumpster (The Office, Ryan/Kelly)
Ryan/Kelly!! ♥ So, this has been in the works for, like, forever, and I'm (finally) getting around to posting it. There's a fanmix and accompanying picspam; spoilers up to season five (including promos, extras, and deleted scenes), rated PG-13 for language.
♥ 
Don't Dump Me While I'm In The Dumpster: A Ryan/Kelly Fanmix
One Way Or Another (Mandy Moore)
One way or another I'm gonna win ya
I'll getcha, I'll getcha
KELLY: Oh, except, oh my God, Jim. Last night, Ryan and I totally, finally, hooked up.
JIM: Oh.
KELLY: It was awesome.
JIM: That's great. I'm really happy for -
KELLY: I know. And it was so funny.
JIM: - you.
KELLY: 'Cause we were at this bar with his friends, and I was sitting next to him the whole night. And he wasn't making a move, so in my head, I was like, "Ryan, what's taking you so long?" And then he kissed me. And I didn't know what to say.
JIM: Wow.
KELLY: So I said, "Ryan, what took you so long?" I mean, I just said it to him. Can you believe that?
Steady As She Goes (Corinne Bailey Rae)
Find yourself a girl and settle down
Live a simple life in a quiet town
RYAN: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun. And I'm finding out that "fun" for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.
I Don't Want To Fall In Love (She Wants Revenge)
I know that you're the right girl, but do you think that I am the right man?
Right face, wrong time, she's sweet
(But I don't wanna fall in love)
RYAN: One beer, and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.
JIM: So, that's still going on, huh? You and Kelly?
Shut Up And Drive (Rihanna)
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night
KELLY: Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything. I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows.
Happy Together (Simple Plan)
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
KELLY: Whatever we deny or embrace. For worse or for better. We belong, we belong, we belong together ... Ryan
Fucking Boyfriend (The Bird And The Bee)
Are you unsatisfied? You can't make up your mind.
When you can take me by the hands and I will close my eyes.
RYAN: Well, I was a temp but I got promoted. So, um, the compensation is a lot more competitive.
MRS KAPOOR: So you're saving money ...
RYAN: Yes.
MRS KAPOOR: ... to start a family and home.
RYAN: Oh, um ... or travel. And, um ... and buy an Xbox.
MR KAPOOR: Is there anything you wanted to ask us tonight?
Potential Breakup Song (Aly & AJ)
It took too long for you to call back
And normally I would just forget that
MICHAEL: Here is a Kelly complaint: "Ryan never returns my calls." Ugh, join the club.
RYAN: My voicemail's really spotty sometimes ...
KELLY: I didn't file a complaint. I was just talking.
TOBY: To your HR representative.
KELLY: To my friend, I thought. I want that withdrawn.
So Jealous (Tegan And Sara)
How can they ask why I feel so angry
Do you see my problem if I never explain it
KELLY: So, how's your day been?
PAM: Okay. It's been a little more tiring than I thought.
KELLY: Yeah, it doesn't help that Stanley's daughter's such a slut.
So Rude (Rebecca's Empire)
You're so careless
You're guarded and jealous
PAM: Maybe we'll use a DJ. That's the one thing Roy's in charge of for this wedding, but all he's managed to do is set a date.
KELLY: But he did a great job. June 10th is perfect. I want a June wedding. I've always wanted one. Ryan, do you know when you would want to get married?
RYAN: Actually, I don't see myself ever getting married.
KELLY: Oh.
PAM: Ryan, you should be more sensitive. It's obvious she likes you and comments like that, they just ...
RYAN: I know what I said.
Heart Of Glass (Skye Sweetnam)
Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
RYAN: Hey, Kelly, you know what? Throw my gift away, too.
KELLY: No, you paid money for that CD.
RYAN: I'm serious. It'll show that we don't care about material things.
KELLY: I don't understand.
RYAN: Kelly, I'm so cold!
KELLY: You don't have to scream at me.
RYAN: Are you having fun in this relationship?
KELLY: Sometimes.
RYAN: I don't know Kelly, sometimes I look at us and I think ...
KELLY: Don't dump me while I'm in the dumpster! Just go back inside if you're so cold. I'll just stay in the dumpster.
Here It Goes Again (OK Go)
Just when you think you're in control
Just when you think you've got a hold
Just when you get on a roll
Here it goes again
RYAN: Hey, are you going to Poor Richard's?
TOBY: I don't know, you?
RYAN: Maybe.
KELLY: I'm going and so are both of you. We're all going.
RYAN: Hey, isn't there some rule against inter-office dating?
TOBY: I am not doing your dirty work for you.
Ever Fallen In Love (The Buzzcocks)
I can't see much of a future
Unless we find out what's to blame
What a shame
KELLY: So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. So number five becomes number four, number six becomes number five, number three becomes number two, etc, etc. And let's just say that I just sent back Love Actually, which was awesome. And they sent me Uptown Girls, which is also awesome. But guess what, now I want to see love actually again, but it's at the bottom of the queue! Oh no, what do I do? What I do is this. I go online, I go click, click, click. And I change the order of the queue, so that I can see Love Actually as soon as I want to. It's so easy, Ryan. Do you really not know how Netflix works?
RYAN: I guess I forgot.
KELLY: You're such a ditz.
Primitive (The Way I Treat You) (Ambulance Ltd)
You don't remember and it's not important
So relax, don't think about the way i treat you
STANLEY: How did Ryan use it? As an object?
RYAN: As an object.
KELLY: Ryan used me an object.
Call It Off (Tegan And Sara)
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
RYAN: I just feel like it could have been something special if we could have kept working together, but I'm going to go someplace else and you're going to go someplace else. It just doesn't make sense.
Makeup Smeared Eyes (Automatic Loveletter)
I'll tell you just one thing
This wasn't worth the sting
MICHAEL: Ryan is causing some problems. And you were always good at handling him. What should I do to control him?
KELLY: Well, he's super ticklish, I don't know if that helps.
MICHAEL: I know, I know, no, what ... something else.
KELLY: Oh, he's also super insecure about his height.
MICHAEL: Uh huh.
KELLY: And he doesn't care about anybody but himself.
MICHAEL: Good.
KELLY: And don't have sex with him, 'cause if you do, the next two years of your life will be a total waste of time.
Officially Dead (Veruca Salt)
You're officially dead
You don't have a heart
Kelly: Who was that?
RYAN: Nobody. You and I are done.
I Want You Back (Spazzys)
I know they will see in the end
What it all means when she says
I want you back
KELLY: I don't understand what the big deal is.
RYAN: You don't?
KELLY: No!
RYAN: You lied about being pregnant.
KELLY: Right, so?
RYAN: You really don't understand why that might make me kind of angry?
KELLY: No!
RYAN: We're never getting back together.
KELLY: Why not?
Like Wow - Wipeout (Hoodoo Gurus)
You'll never be a beauty queen
Won't feature in no magazine
But you're the best that's ever been
MICHAEL: She's a beautiful Indian woman. Why? What makes her beautiful?
RYAN: Everything. She's perfect.
Shut Up And Let Me Go (The Ting Tings)
Now oh so easily you're over me
Gone is love, it's you that ought to be holding me
KELLY: I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."
You Blew Me Off (Bare Jr)
If you ignore me, you get my respect
When you turn to hug me I like you less
RYAN: I wanted to say I'm sorry ... for treating you bad the past couple years. I was in my mid twenties and I was going through a lot of stuff. I think I never fully processed 9/11. Um, I want you to know I've changed.
KELLY: Cool.
RYAN: We should get a drink later. Catch up. Pick me up around eight?
KELY: Oh that is so sweet. Um, but I'm dating Darryl, still, and we're like crazy in love so ...
RYAN: That - I, um ... cool. Well maybe I'll see you around.
KELLY: It's a small office.
I'm The Man Who Murdered Love (XTC)
'Cause what you never had you never miss,
I guess
KELLY: This can't happen again.
RYAN: This has to happen again. Darryl can't happen again. Look at me. Do you want me to do more push-ups?
KELLY: Yeah.
RYAN: Okay. You have to break up with Darryl. I already typed out a text message for you. All you have to do is press send.
KELLY: I don't know. I mean, it's well-written and all, I just -
RYAN: It has to be done. We'll press send together.
KELLY: Oh my God. He's going to kill us.
RYAN: I'd like to see him try.
KELLY: Oh! He says it's cool. He said, "It's cool."
RYAN: That's all he wrote?
KELLY: That's all he wrote.
RYAN: Can I see it?
KELLY: Mmm hmm.
RYAN: Didn't you two date for, like, a long time?
KELLY: Mmm hmm. It's like a fairy tale!
Plus a bonus song:
Let's Go To The Mall (Robin Sparkles)
Throw every last care away
Let's go to the mall today
KELLY: Beyonce, pink the colour, Pink the person, hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome.
Download all songs + cover art
Screencaps by me,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
inconceivable_m, and Sweet Innocence.
♥ Don't Dump Me While I'm In The Dumpster: A Ryan/Kelly Fanmix
One Way Or Another (Mandy Moore)
One way or another I'm gonna win ya
I'll getcha, I'll getcha
KELLY: Oh, except, oh my God, Jim. Last night, Ryan and I totally, finally, hooked up.
JIM: Oh.
KELLY: It was awesome.
JIM: That's great. I'm really happy for -
KELLY: I know. And it was so funny.
JIM: - you.
KELLY: 'Cause we were at this bar with his friends, and I was sitting next to him the whole night. And he wasn't making a move, so in my head, I was like, "Ryan, what's taking you so long?" And then he kissed me. And I didn't know what to say.
JIM: Wow.
KELLY: So I said, "Ryan, what took you so long?" I mean, I just said it to him. Can you believe that?
Steady As She Goes (Corinne Bailey Rae)
Find yourself a girl and settle down
Live a simple life in a quiet town
RYAN: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun. And I'm finding out that "fun" for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.
I Don't Want To Fall In Love (She Wants Revenge)
I know that you're the right girl, but do you think that I am the right man?
Right face, wrong time, she's sweet
(But I don't wanna fall in love)
RYAN: One beer, and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.
JIM: So, that's still going on, huh? You and Kelly?
Shut Up And Drive (Rihanna)
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night
KELLY: Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything. I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows.
Happy Together (Simple Plan)
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
KELLY: Whatever we deny or embrace. For worse or for better. We belong, we belong, we belong together ... Ryan
Fucking Boyfriend (The Bird And The Bee)
Are you unsatisfied? You can't make up your mind.
When you can take me by the hands and I will close my eyes.
RYAN: Well, I was a temp but I got promoted. So, um, the compensation is a lot more competitive.
MRS KAPOOR: So you're saving money ...
RYAN: Yes.
MRS KAPOOR: ... to start a family and home.
RYAN: Oh, um ... or travel. And, um ... and buy an Xbox.
MR KAPOOR: Is there anything you wanted to ask us tonight?
Potential Breakup Song (Aly & AJ)
It took too long for you to call back
And normally I would just forget that
MICHAEL: Here is a Kelly complaint: "Ryan never returns my calls." Ugh, join the club.
RYAN: My voicemail's really spotty sometimes ...
KELLY: I didn't file a complaint. I was just talking.
TOBY: To your HR representative.
KELLY: To my friend, I thought. I want that withdrawn.
So Jealous (Tegan And Sara)
How can they ask why I feel so angry
Do you see my problem if I never explain it
KELLY: So, how's your day been?
PAM: Okay. It's been a little more tiring than I thought.
KELLY: Yeah, it doesn't help that Stanley's daughter's such a slut.
So Rude (Rebecca's Empire)
You're so careless
You're guarded and jealous
PAM: Maybe we'll use a DJ. That's the one thing Roy's in charge of for this wedding, but all he's managed to do is set a date.
KELLY: But he did a great job. June 10th is perfect. I want a June wedding. I've always wanted one. Ryan, do you know when you would want to get married?
RYAN: Actually, I don't see myself ever getting married.
KELLY: Oh.
PAM: Ryan, you should be more sensitive. It's obvious she likes you and comments like that, they just ...
RYAN: I know what I said.
Heart Of Glass (Skye Sweetnam)
Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
RYAN: Hey, Kelly, you know what? Throw my gift away, too.
KELLY: No, you paid money for that CD.
RYAN: I'm serious. It'll show that we don't care about material things.
KELLY: I don't understand.
RYAN: Kelly, I'm so cold!
KELLY: You don't have to scream at me.
RYAN: Are you having fun in this relationship?
KELLY: Sometimes.
RYAN: I don't know Kelly, sometimes I look at us and I think ...
KELLY: Don't dump me while I'm in the dumpster! Just go back inside if you're so cold. I'll just stay in the dumpster.
Here It Goes Again (OK Go)
Just when you think you're in control
Just when you think you've got a hold
Just when you get on a roll
Here it goes again
RYAN: Hey, are you going to Poor Richard's?
TOBY: I don't know, you?
RYAN: Maybe.
KELLY: I'm going and so are both of you. We're all going.
RYAN: Hey, isn't there some rule against inter-office dating?
TOBY: I am not doing your dirty work for you.
Ever Fallen In Love (The Buzzcocks)
I can't see much of a future
Unless we find out what's to blame
What a shame
KELLY: So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. So number five becomes number four, number six becomes number five, number three becomes number two, etc, etc. And let's just say that I just sent back Love Actually, which was awesome. And they sent me Uptown Girls, which is also awesome. But guess what, now I want to see love actually again, but it's at the bottom of the queue! Oh no, what do I do? What I do is this. I go online, I go click, click, click. And I change the order of the queue, so that I can see Love Actually as soon as I want to. It's so easy, Ryan. Do you really not know how Netflix works?
RYAN: I guess I forgot.
KELLY: You're such a ditz.
Primitive (The Way I Treat You) (Ambulance Ltd)
You don't remember and it's not important
So relax, don't think about the way i treat you
STANLEY: How did Ryan use it? As an object?
RYAN: As an object.
KELLY: Ryan used me an object.
Call It Off (Tegan And Sara)
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
RYAN: I just feel like it could have been something special if we could have kept working together, but I'm going to go someplace else and you're going to go someplace else. It just doesn't make sense.
Makeup Smeared Eyes (Automatic Loveletter)
I'll tell you just one thing
This wasn't worth the sting
MICHAEL: Ryan is causing some problems. And you were always good at handling him. What should I do to control him?
KELLY: Well, he's super ticklish, I don't know if that helps.
MICHAEL: I know, I know, no, what ... something else.
KELLY: Oh, he's also super insecure about his height.
MICHAEL: Uh huh.
KELLY: And he doesn't care about anybody but himself.
MICHAEL: Good.
KELLY: And don't have sex with him, 'cause if you do, the next two years of your life will be a total waste of time.
Officially Dead (Veruca Salt)
You're officially dead
You don't have a heart
Kelly: Who was that?
RYAN: Nobody. You and I are done.
I Want You Back (Spazzys)
I know they will see in the end
What it all means when she says
I want you back
KELLY: I don't understand what the big deal is.
RYAN: You don't?
KELLY: No!
RYAN: You lied about being pregnant.
KELLY: Right, so?
RYAN: You really don't understand why that might make me kind of angry?
KELLY: No!
RYAN: We're never getting back together.
KELLY: Why not?
Like Wow - Wipeout (Hoodoo Gurus)
You'll never be a beauty queen
Won't feature in no magazine
But you're the best that's ever been
MICHAEL: She's a beautiful Indian woman. Why? What makes her beautiful?
RYAN: Everything. She's perfect.
Shut Up And Let Me Go (The Ting Tings)
Now oh so easily you're over me
Gone is love, it's you that ought to be holding me
KELLY: I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."
You Blew Me Off (Bare Jr)
If you ignore me, you get my respect
When you turn to hug me I like you less
RYAN: I wanted to say I'm sorry ... for treating you bad the past couple years. I was in my mid twenties and I was going through a lot of stuff. I think I never fully processed 9/11. Um, I want you to know I've changed.
KELLY: Cool.
RYAN: We should get a drink later. Catch up. Pick me up around eight?
KELY: Oh that is so sweet. Um, but I'm dating Darryl, still, and we're like crazy in love so ...
RYAN: That - I, um ... cool. Well maybe I'll see you around.
KELLY: It's a small office.
I'm The Man Who Murdered Love (XTC)
'Cause what you never had you never miss,
I guess
KELLY: This can't happen again.
RYAN: This has to happen again. Darryl can't happen again. Look at me. Do you want me to do more push-ups?
KELLY: Yeah.
RYAN: Okay. You have to break up with Darryl. I already typed out a text message for you. All you have to do is press send.
KELLY: I don't know. I mean, it's well-written and all, I just -
RYAN: It has to be done. We'll press send together.
KELLY: Oh my God. He's going to kill us.
RYAN: I'd like to see him try.
KELLY: Oh! He says it's cool. He said, "It's cool."
RYAN: That's all he wrote?
KELLY: That's all he wrote.
RYAN: Can I see it?
KELLY: Mmm hmm.
RYAN: Didn't you two date for, like, a long time?
KELLY: Mmm hmm. It's like a fairy tale!
Plus a bonus song:
Let's Go To The Mall (Robin Sparkles)
Throw every last care away
Let's go to the mall today
KELLY: Beyonce, pink the colour, Pink the person, hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome.
Download all songs + cover art
Screencaps by me,
inconceivable_m, and Sweet Innocence.
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Also: Let's Go To The Mall for Kelly = spectacular!!!
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I'm glad you liked it :D
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I'm downloading it, thank you very much for this fabulous mix!
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Ryan/Kelly will forever be the only couple of The Office that I will actually care about. Thanks for posting. I can't wait to listen to it.
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And Robin/Sparkles = awesome, so Let's Go To The Mall had to be on there.
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RYAN: Everything. She's perfect.
^^
Yayayayayayayayayayayay!!!
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:D
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Downloading!
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Just saying.
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